I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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