I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
did i just pee glitter
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
