You work out of a Hotel?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
