oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
