I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
