Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
