sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
