It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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