I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize