Yo dont text me then not text me
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
