Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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