she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
