What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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