We should be called the Road Head Warriors
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize