Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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