so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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