And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
