Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
