tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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