my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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