You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize