I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
