We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
