Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
