i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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