We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
