Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
