you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
