Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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