Christians are straight up FREAKS
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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