sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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