The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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