I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
