Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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