It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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