i barfeds in our rink
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
