We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
