remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
