hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
he had hair everywhere except his balls
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize