she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
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