So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
