I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
