We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
