When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
