So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
