I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
