people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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