Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
