Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
a search helicopter?!
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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