Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
