I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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