Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
