Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
