Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
