Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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