11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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